Projectors in Relationship

This is written taking all forms of relationships into consideration, however, I’m going to be using romantic relationships for the examples. 


This is probably the most venerated Projector relationship. Countless times I’ve come across the notion that “Projectors work best when guiding the energy of Generators.” True? Who knows. I was in a relationship with a Generator for 5 years & he stubbornly refused my help throughout the entire partnership (however, both my help & his refusal were coming from unhealthy places so again we see that Human Design works with grace + ease if we’re coupling it with deconditioning & self-work.)

From an energetic perspective, Generators appear to be the most malleable, receptive & willing when it comes to being guided. They aren’t repelled by being told what to do like the Manifestor & don’t fall into thinking they’re a new person every day like the Reflector. 

My opinion is that a Projector who is cultivating self-awareness & deconditioning can guide or work with anyone who is open & willing to receive their medicine. 


+ The Generator needs to cultivate awareness of the difference in energy levels & a willingness to be a lump a bit more often than they might be used to OR accept that there will be some nights that they’ll need to go out alone while their Projector honey stays at home with Netflix & ice cream. 

While the Projector needs to cultivate an awareness that they are with an Energy Type, who is going to have much more energy to expend & whose Sacral they will be privy to taking in whenever they’re together. 

+ The Generator needs to understand that they are with someone who requires sight, recognition or an invitation in order to distribute their magic. They also need to recognize that they are with someone who is inherently designed to see into them & let them know what they’re seeing. This is where I recommend the Generator work with exercising clear communication around whether they’re open to guidance or would just like a hug while they process. 

While the Projector needs to cultivate an awareness that there will be times that their partner is not receptive to the intensity of constant Projecting. Again, this is where clear & honest communication is so important; “are you looking for me to tell you what I see, or do you just want a hug right now?” Also, I feel it’s important to mention that if your partner is constantly giving you the red light to Projecting, this is a block to consider. By being with you, your partner is signing up for the full throttle Projector medicine. It’s important that they know this & that you don’t hide this to appear more “chill.” 

PSA: anyone who thinks they’re “chill” or “easy-going” is pretending. 


This is an interesting one as we are working with two entirely different levels of energy output. Think the race car burning rubber on the track & the slow jogger, stopping to observe the beautiful dance of the falling leaves. 

Something I’ve found is that the opposite energy levels of this pairing can be complimentary & this has the potential to be a very lovely & beneficial relationship. I find that there is a mutual fascination between these two types. MG’s are usually open to guidance if they are able to slow down & position themselves into a more interpersonal setting as their energy actually functions more “impersonally.” And Projectors can get very excited, revved up & be thrust into action by MG’s. 


(Please consider everything that was said about Generator relationship conditions here as well.)

+ This is probably a no-brainer but, it must be said. MG’s need to be gravely aware that their Projector lover is NOT going to be able to keep up with them & to in no way impose that as an expectation of them. 

Oppositely, the Projector is going to have to be okay with setting rest boundaries, saying no & maintaining the awareness that the relationship should not be contingent on having the same amount of energy as the MG. 

+ Again, in order for the MG to receive the Projector magic, they need to be in a space where they are present, in their body & accepting that they’re working with slower energy. I’ve found that once an MG gets a taste of what a Projector can do, they are fascinated & want more. 

As for the Projector, the MG can really shake up their energy in invigorating ways. They can help you get into action, think about things from a more impersonal perspective, open up new interests for you & just all around bring a healthy jolt of espresso into your life. 


I’ll admit that I’m biased & this is my favorite Projector relationship dynamic. I have spent the last 3 years of my life surrounded (literally) by the powerful creatures we call Manifestors. I feel they are the most misunderstood type in HD & am always elated whenever I meet one or get to work with one as I’ve been able to cultivate a very specific & influential impact on them. I also just love breaking into their aura & surprising them. :)

This relationship has the potential to be massively illuminating & powerful and/or full of misunderstanding & triggers. Why?

Well, Projectors are here to see, know & guide people’s energy.

Manifestors are here to initiate & intensely impact people’s energy (think the q-ball on the pool table). 

It’s an ego blow for both types when they step into this relationship container, as Projectors are used to being the ones who know what’s best for others & usually identify on some level as someone that can affect people in positive ways. Whereas Manifestors despise being told what to do & are definitely not used to people being able to break into their aura & peer deeply into the squishy center inside the tough shell. 

However, when an awareness of each types energy & how they work best together is cultivated, the product is pure magic. 

Lastly, when it comes to energy levels, there is going to be more of an understanding. While the Manifestor is not categorized as a non-energy type, they do not have a Sacral center (green light on sharing a bed)! Their energy works in bursts & they can hack their energy by initiating & creating. However, just like the Projector — they will eventually drain & need to go into recharge mode. The pieces that are important here are the Projectors awareness of the bursts cycles & the Manifestors awareness of the Projectors energy levels. 


+ The Manifestor needs to first understand the immense benefit in having a partner who can see into every facet of their being & is unafraid to break into the Manifestor aura & guide. The Manifestors aura is selective. If they’re able to understand what the Projector has to offer & that their needs to be sight, recognition or an invitation in order to receive this offering at its highest potency, than they have the ability to select the Projector into their aura. This is the more preferable version of interaction versus a Projector breaking in. However, that can happen as well. And again, the Manifestor needs to be aware of just how healing it is for them to allow themselves to be seen. 

The Projector should be able to gauge the Manifestors level of awareness & relationship to itself & its inner world, & proceed from there. Some Manifestors need to be softly & repeatedly show that it’s safe to open up. Others have already been cracked & are silently looking for guidance from someone they feel seen by. Again, it’s imperative for Projectors to proceed using their authority & a deep level of awareness. If a Manifestor isn’t ready or willing to be Projected into — give them some time, or prepare yourself to hold the anger that will ensue. 

+ The Manifestor can have a massive impact on the Projector. Again, we see the need for deep levels of awareness of the Projectors ability to receive this medicine. However, this is where a Manifestors energetic impact tends to outweigh the feelings of the impacted. Manifestors are here, not to softly guide, but to oftentimes harshly impact. I often see females telling male Manifestor’s that they’re not sensitive enough or too harsh with their delivery. I also run into males feeling that their female Manifestor partner can be “too masculine, too aggressive, too angry.” (I should add here that there is a specific & collective wounding that female Manifestors carry, usually born out of their relationship to other females. This doesn’t pertain to this piece but I felt it important to mention.) 

Here’s the thing, if you want to have a Manifestor in your life & see the colossal benefit in being in a relationship with someone who is designed to call people, knock people & see when people are lying to themselves or others — then you’re going to have to learn to suck it up. I say this with a grave awareness that sucking it up is not what usually highly-sensitive, empathic Projectors want to do. However, when I say this, I mean to humble yourself. Tap into your inner wild woman who is yearning to have her ego crushed into a million pieces, to walk through the fire, to face the hall of mirrors it’s oftentimes (as a type who can deeply tap into others) so easy to avoid. 

Manifestors are not designed to be sweet. I’ve seen many-a-Manifestor work tirelessly on tailoring the way they communicate & impact in order to not be perceived as too blunt, too harsh or just too much. 

You know what feels right for you & what you can handle but I do offer that you keep in mind, there is a vast difference between being kind & being nice. And sometimes kind, does not feel “good” initially. 

In my opinion, more than any other type, the Projector absolutely NEEDS someone in their life who can see them & call them on their shit. We are experts at seeing into others but it's easy for us to fall short on turning this sight inward. In addition to strengthening this inner sight, a wonderful antidote is a Manifestor. I have spent the last 3 years in partnership with a male Manifestor & he continuously works me like no self-help book, course, therapist, coach or ceremony ever has. It is a constant ego shatter. Are you starting to understand my love for this rare type? 


I’m lucky enough to have lived experience with multiple Reflectors, both as a child & an adult. Because of this, I feel a bit more confident in sharing some reflections & dynamics. Though because this type is so rare, from lack of experience with them, they are much harder to unpack. 

This is a very intriguing one. Mainly because both the Projector & the Reflector take people in, very deeply. This will vary Projector to Projector as some are much more defined than others. Yet, the Reflector will always “become the other.” The Projector will know how their energy is operating & affecting others simply by observing how it’s affecting the Reflector (which can be very helpful for a Projector working to see & know themselves.) Whereas the Reflector will be able to receive guidance & wisdom from someone who is taking them in similarly to how they take in others. 

In my experience with Reflectors, it’s easy for them to feel both safe & understood with Projectors. There is a bond & understanding shared between non-energy types. Whereas Projectors are usually the best type equipped to work with, relate to & co-exist with Reflectors. 

There is very little need for understanding around energy levels as both are working with less. However, it is important for more defined Projectors or Energy Projectors (Projectors with motors) to be aware that the Reflector will be taking these in. Conversely, it’s important for the Reflector to know where their new streams of energy are coming from if the Projector does have motors. Green light on sharing a bed - woo!


+ It’s important that the Reflector knows that they are with someone who can take them in, in a way they’re probably not as used to. This is a container for them to be seen & understood, & to receive specific guidance on a path that can sometimes feel a bit foggy & confusing. 

Additionally, it’s important for the Projector to know that this is someone who can & will always be reflecting back to them feedback about their energy & who they are. This doesn’t mean that the Reflector needs to be treated like a child, but it does mean that the Reflector is given time & space to reflect. I oftentimes see Reflectors being rushed to figure things out, make decisions or understand what & why they’re feeling something (sometimes this is entirely self-imposed, but not always.) 

+ It’s important the Reflector always maintain the awareness of boundaries & coming back into one's own energy + body. If a Reflector spends a significant amount of time with someone who feels good, they can very easily get lost in that person's wants, needs & desires. I know this is something Projectors fall into as well. But with Reflectors, it is imperative that they take the time to return home to themselves. 

On the same hand because this can be such a familiar pattern for Projectors. So also making sure that they are also cultivating boundaries, alone time & an awareness of oneself. Essentially, it can be very easy for these two types to merge into each other & lose awareness of where one ends & the other begins. This is an amazing feeling but certainly isn’t something that’s sustainable all the time. This is a great container to work on boundaries as it’s most likely that both will have karma to sort through in this arena. 


I call this relationship the psychedelic trip. What do you get when you have two of the same type, one-on-one, taking each other in? A vortex. 

The Projector-Projector relationship is truly falling down the rabbit hole. I remember after being introduced to HD the first time I was in a conscious relationship with a Projector. Everything about our dynamic suddenly made sense. The best way I can articulate it is that it’s familiar to being on a psychedelic with someone. When you drop in with each other there is a lost sense of time & space. It’s as if you’re very rapidly & easily dimension hopping or perhaps, dimension digging. There is a shared sight into all people & situations that runs very deep & usually doesn’t have an ending place. It’s a very feminine experience -- chaotic, soulful, spiral-y & the feeling that there is a subconscious or conscious desire to merge. 

Clearly, this can be a very intense dynamic in relationship. The intensity levels will vary based on levels of awareness around the energetic dynamic occurring. Male Projectors are often unaware of the magic they carry & can be in resistance to the amount of feminine energy that lives inside of them. Conversely, they can fall much too far into their feminine (easy to do as a Projector) & lose touch with the stabilizing & necessary masculine. 

This is a container where the cultivation of self-awareness & an agreement that both will show up for the work - is non-negotiable. This is also a container (similar to Manifestor-Projector) where there is a massive space for getting worked. The transformation that is available to you as a Projector, when you have another Projector around, is massive. 


+ Energy level-wise, this is an easy fit. There should be a mutual understanding that both are working with less energy. If one or both have motors, this is something to consider for the one who doesn’t have motors & is then taking in the others. They can also sleep together & recharge together if it feels right. 

+ In my opinion, the awareness that this container is going to be one that is constantly filled with Projecting, it of the utmost importance. Both people are going to need to feel seen, recognized or invited - & consequently, both are going to need to cultivate giving that to themselves & the other. 

+ Another important piece is learning to set boundaries around Projecting & with each other. This dynamic can be transformational &/or tiring. So creating time to just relax & not dive into the vortex is important.

+ Another piece I see is the Projector energy wielded in manipulative unhealthy ways (yes, there is a shadow side to Projecting.) When you have two people who wield a similar power, it’s much more seductive to use that power in unhealthy ways when triggered. This is a container to both strengthen your Projecting & get really clear on how clean it is (i.e. where it’s coming from, what intentions are behind it.) 


Hungry for more Projector-goodness?
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If you want to go deeper into relationship dynamics, please check out the Human Design Relationship Reading This was created out of my lived experience giving couples readings & witnessing the birth of new levels of awareness around how the other works. And, the ways in which applying the awareness transforms the relationship. 

I can do this reading for one person in the relationship but prefer to have both present, so that there can be a felt & integrated awareness of the other. The individual charts are read as well as the composite chart or third energy that is created between both people.

Human Design Relationship Reading